A few days ago, I was reading some emails and looking through some postings from some broken-hearted ministers. Two in particular struck me. One was from a man who had just completed our research project. He wrote in to tell us briefly what had happened to him when he was forced from his ministry position, one statement he made was, “I was forced to resign a very public position and consequently, my wife divorced me.” Another man wrote in to express his desire to become a “regular Joe”. He was forced to choose his family over his calling.
By the time you read this, I will have handed in the final draft of my research project and will have presented my findings on the effects of stress, forced termination, and high ministry demands on ministers. It is bitter sweet, the finished product. On one hand I found the information I was looking for and finished my first scholarly research project. On the other, I found a reminder of how some ministers are often taken advantage of and when no longer useful to the will of the people are cast out like yesterday’s newspaper.
Forty-two percent of the ministers surveyed in our project had been forced to leave a ministry position at some time during their ministry. After being forced from a ministry position 69% had thought about leaving the ministry. Seventy-four percent said they could never face the people they felt responsible for their forced termination. Another 79% said they were deeply hurt along with 80% of respondents reporting their families were deeply hurt by their forced termination. What these statistics tell us, is that being forced from a ministry position has a collateral affect and is detrimental to the ministry family. There was one bit of positive news; as the stress level of ministers went up so did their reliance on faith. Telling us that no matter what they were facing, faith was their lifeline.
During the middle of a church conflict, no one is thinking about what is going to happen to the ministry family after its all over. No one is thinking about how a seven year old girl is going to have to leave all her friends, her school, her room, perhaps all she knows because some people at the church were mean to her mommy and daddy. No one is thinking about the seventeen year old who has to leave his high school during senior year to switch schools because the pastor and church could not get along. No one is thinking about the emotional and psychological damage being forced from a ministry position has on the minister and family. To our readers, this is why HealingChoice was born, to be the advocate for the ministry family, to be the one who understands and who is thinking about the ministry family.
These stories are very real and certainly hit home for Michelle and me. Every time we hear of someone being forced out of their ministry position or perhaps forced to leave ministry all together, our hearts break. We wonder about their families, where they will spend the night, what the parents will tell their children, we wonder about how they will survive another ministry position and we wonder how we could possibly help them.
Blessings PM
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