A Healthy Self

A Healthy Self





Hello!  Welcome to my very first blog!  My name is Trinity Dempsey, and I am an LMFT-A.  I am so blessed, honored, and excited to begin practicing at HealingChoice Family Therapy.  I am currently accepting new clients, and I can’t wait to meet you!

To introcuce myself, I’d like to tell you what it means to have a healthy concept of self.

Satir's 8 Dimensions of Self

In order to be the best version of yourself, developing a healthy balance between all the dimensions of your different “selves” is important. (According to one of the greatest therapists of all time, Virginia Satir, you have 8 different dimensions of self.)

Your Contextual Self

We always exist within a context. According to Stuart Piddocke, your context includes elements like “light, color, sound,…[and] temperature,” (2010). etc. Think of your five senses (taste, touch, sight, smell, and hearing).  Basically, your context is your surroundings. This context has a big impact on you.

Have you ever been in a noisy, crowded public place and felt your anxiety begin to rise? Maybe think “Black Friday Shopping”? People getting too close, invading your space, and it starts to get worse. Your jaw clenches. The muscles in your neck tense and strain. At the end of a long, hard day like this, do you ever just want to sit in the dark? Find a quiet place to exhale the tensions of the day? Maybe draw a bubble bath? Put on some soothing music?

Because we are all so unique, comfortable contexts and uncomfortable contexts look different from person to person. Some people see red as harsh while others see it as warm and inviting. Take a moment to think about your comfortable context. What does it look like? Is it surrounded by nature? What colors do you see? Now, how about your uncomfortable context? What sounds do you hear? Are there smells that are overwhelming?

Why should I spend time exploring the different aspects of my self?

You might be wondering, “Why should I spend time exploring the different aspects of myself?” Because in doing so, you can better understand yourself and even increase your self-worth; your self-worth “functions as a sort of map (or even a pilot) guiding [you] on the seas of life” (Piddocke, 2010).

Recently, I’ve been working on my own context. I’ll be spending a lot more time in office soon, so I wanted the atmosphere to be warm and inviting. To me, purple lends to a sense of calmness. I also included this great wall-hanging in the shape of a tree.  It symbolizes growth and represents life. Lastly, I found a quote that reminds me that I always have another chance to start over again; “365 New Days, 365 New Chances”!  Tell me about your context!

Healthy Habits for Great Communication – Emotional Flooding

In the previous post, I discussed the four horsemen of the apocalypse and how to defeat them. In this post, I want to talk about a related issue of stonewalling; emotional flooding. It is one of the biggest relationship challenges people struggle with. Like all relationship problems, this one is not unique. Even the masters of relationship experiences it sometimes. But if you don’t know how to respond to it, it can escalate conflict and create disconnection between you and your partner. Fortunately, many of the steps you can take to resolve it are pretty simple. Not necessarily easy, but simple. So, what is emotional flooding?Read More

Healthy Habits for Great Communication – Defeating the Four Horsemen

In previous posts, I have mentioned the concept of the four horsemen in this post, I want to discuss them in greater detail and provide a few quick strategies for defeating them.  A shout out to John and Julie Gottman, I love their work and training of other therapists! In their research, they asked two primary questions. First, “what makes a satisfying marriage?” and second, “what predicts divorce?” Read More

Healthy Habits for Great Communication – Embracing Your Role

In my previous post, I introduced the importance of great communication in healthy relationships. How do we better understand our role in healthy communication? In this post, I want to discuss several important roles for healthy communication. As a quick reminder, while my focus is on healthy communication between romantic partners, it is important to understand these skills are equally as effective in most relationships. There are two primary communication roles, the Speaker and Listener. Read More

Prepare Your Empty Nest Before You Fill It!

I meet with a number of couples where the presenting problems are centered on having no emotional connection. For some of those couples, the lack of emotional connection has contributed to an affair. Some of these couples come to our therapy clinic with young children while others have already raised their children and are now living in what is commonly referred to as the empty nest.Read More

Healthy Habits for Great Communication

“You love every harmful word, O you deceitful tongue!” (Ps. 52:4)

Over the next few months, I am continuing a group on Healthy Habits for Strengthening Your Marriage Relationship. If you are in the area, feel free to join us, there is no charge. In the first eight weeks, I introduced the topics I will be covering, communication, sex, finances, parenting, etc. While I am writing on theses subjects, I thought I would share some of my thoughts with my broader audience here. In this second eight weeks we will be focusing on healthy communication.  Read More

Navigating Life Changes

Why is change so scary?: When big health problems or other life changing situations occur, we tend to realize how vulnerable we are. We get a sense that our future no longer seems quite as certain as it once did. Entering this new unknown world can be fear and anxiety provoking.

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Pursuing a Healthy Marriage Before You Say ‘I do’ (Finances)

As I am editing this post to publish to my website, it occurred to me that I should write about the many areas that are important for couples who wish to start their marriage in as healthy a way possible, finances is only one. As a realist I understand that some couples who may be reading this may have already been married, I will make sure to include some information for those who are endeavoring to pursue a healthy marriage in their new relationship.

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How to Have a Productive Therapy Session

Have you ever wondered what a therapy session looks like? I see a number of people that have never been to therapy before and often find myself discussing myths of therapy and how a typical session with me happens. In this short post, I wanted to cover some basic information on how to prepare for a good session with your therapist whether it is your first time or you have been struggling to have productive therapy sessions.

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