In the previous post, I discussed the four horsemen of the apocalypse and how to defeat them. In this post, I want to talk about a related issue of stonewalling; emotional flooding. It is one of the biggest relationship challenges people struggle with. Like all relationship problems, this one is not unique. Even the masters of relationship experiences it sometimes. But if you don’t know how to respond to it, it can escalate conflict and create disconnection between you and your partner. Fortunately, many of the steps you can take to resolve it are pretty simple. Not necessarily easy, but simple. So, what is emotional flooding?Read More
In previous posts, I have mentioned the concept of the four horsemen in this post, I want to discuss them in greater detail and provide a few quick strategies for defeating them. A shout out to John and Julie Gottman, I love their work and training of other therapists! In their research, they asked two primary questions. First, “what makes a satisfying marriage?” and second, “what predicts divorce?” Read More
In my previous post, I introduced the importance of great communication in healthy relationships. How do we better understand our role in healthy communication? In this post, I want to discuss several important roles for healthy communication. As a quick reminder, while my focus is on healthy communication between romantic partners, it is important to understand these skills are equally as effective in most relationships. There are two primary communication roles, the Speaker and Listener. Read More
I meet with a number of couples where the presenting problems are centered on having no emotional connection. For some of those couples, the lack of emotional connection has contributed to an affair. Some of these couples come to our therapy clinic with young children while others have already raised their children and are now living in what is commonly referred to as the empty nest.Read More
“You love every harmful word, O you deceitful tongue!” (Ps. 52:4)
Over the next few months, I am continuing a group on Healthy Habits for Strengthening Your Marriage Relationship. If you are in the area, feel free to join us, there is no charge. In the first eight weeks, I introduced the topics I will be covering, communication, sex, finances, parenting, etc. While I am writing on theses subjects, I thought I would share some of my thoughts with my broader audience here. In this second eight weeks we will be focusing on healthy communication. Read More
As I am editing this post to publish to my website, it occurred to me that I should write about the many areas that are important for couples who wish to start their marriage in as healthy a way possible, finances is only one. As a realist I understand that some couples who may be reading this may have already been married, I will make sure to include some information for those who are endeavoring to pursue a healthy marriage in their new relationship.